Gender in Peacebuilding operations: a comparative study of Liberia and Sierra Leone.
Budget: €250 – €750 EUR
master thesis of 12000 words to which i was given the following feedback.
The second reader and I agree that the thesis that you submitted is not enough to pass and we give you a 5. Below we will give feedback. This means, that you have the right to improve you thesis and resubmit on 16 July. You will find the feedback below, since there seem to have been problems in the past with your reading my feedback if I attack a document.
I am sorry that I have bad news for you.
best regards,
dr Charlotte Hille
Overall feedback:
The thesis is ambitious in scope and clear in what it sets out to do – compare Sl and Liberia and the impact of 1325 in post conflict transitions.
The main weaknesses of the thesis are the theoretical framework – there is very little engagement with ‘empowerment’ as a concept, and the literature that has discussed empowerment in the context of 1325
And while the reference list at the end mentions work of Karim for example, there is very little engagement with the literature on 1325 + SL/1325 + Liberia and peacekeeping/post conflict transitions.
I think the overall logic/structure and argument would have been improved by a closer engagement with the literature on this topic.
Literature:
I would have liked to have seen much more engagement with the scholarship that has explored this, ‘scholars have wondered whether the Resolution makes a difference in the field’. I would not expect to see every single article/book cited, but there is a huge amount of literature that is not mentioned that could have provided a good basis to build this thesis on.
Research design:
As there is a lack of literature referenced here, I’m not really sure that ‘Empowerment theory’ is actually a theory. Is it more of a goal of 1325? Or a goal of feminist theory/activism?
The connection to Womanism is good/interesting and relevant to the case studies.
I find pages 16, 17 and 18 interesting in terms of details (Theresa Kambobe for example) – but I don’t really see how it forms part of the theoretical framework.
The methods section gives an ok description of comparative method and why chosen/how used in the thesis.
However, the discussion on critical reading is quite confusing on page 23, ‘In this thesis, you will not find any connection to critical reading per se since it is not a method that has to be applied in the research and will not even affect the shape of the results. However, it is what helped to clear the path between all the readings and the data available for this research helping to find a gap in the literature and pick up the correct elements to build up a unique analysis of UNSCR 1325 in Sierra Leone and Liberia’
I don’t follow this logic at all I’m afraid.
Conclusion:
Discussion of how the research questions were answered is clear. Not so much limitations and implications.
Other feedback:
The thesis does not delve very deep, the writing is sloppy.
i need someone to fix my writing and possibly edit also my theoretical framework chapter in line with what asked by my professor
The second reader and I agree that the thesis that you submitted is not enough to pass and we give you a 5. Below we will give feedback. This means, that you have the right to improve you thesis and resubmit on 16 July. You will find the feedback below, since there seem to have been problems in the past with your reading my feedback if I attack a document.
I am sorry that I have bad news for you.
best regards,
dr Charlotte Hille
Overall feedback:
The thesis is ambitious in scope and clear in what it sets out to do – compare Sl and Liberia and the impact of 1325 in post conflict transitions.
The main weaknesses of the thesis are the theoretical framework – there is very little engagement with ‘empowerment’ as a concept, and the literature that has discussed empowerment in the context of 1325
And while the reference list at the end mentions work of Karim for example, there is very little engagement with the literature on 1325 + SL/1325 + Liberia and peacekeeping/post conflict transitions.
I think the overall logic/structure and argument would have been improved by a closer engagement with the literature on this topic.
Literature:
I would have liked to have seen much more engagement with the scholarship that has explored this, ‘scholars have wondered whether the Resolution makes a difference in the field’. I would not expect to see every single article/book cited, but there is a huge amount of literature that is not mentioned that could have provided a good basis to build this thesis on.
Research design:
As there is a lack of literature referenced here, I’m not really sure that ‘Empowerment theory’ is actually a theory. Is it more of a goal of 1325? Or a goal of feminist theory/activism?
The connection to Womanism is good/interesting and relevant to the case studies.
I find pages 16, 17 and 18 interesting in terms of details (Theresa Kambobe for example) – but I don’t really see how it forms part of the theoretical framework.
The methods section gives an ok description of comparative method and why chosen/how used in the thesis.
However, the discussion on critical reading is quite confusing on page 23, ‘In this thesis, you will not find any connection to critical reading per se since it is not a method that has to be applied in the research and will not even affect the shape of the results. However, it is what helped to clear the path between all the readings and the data available for this research helping to find a gap in the literature and pick up the correct elements to build up a unique analysis of UNSCR 1325 in Sierra Leone and Liberia’
I don’t follow this logic at all I’m afraid.
Conclusion:
Discussion of how the research questions were answered is clear. Not so much limitations and implications.
Other feedback:
The thesis does not delve very deep, the writing is sloppy.
i need someone to fix my writing and possibly edit also my theoretical framework chapter in line with what asked by my professor