oscommerce paypal expert to fix issue

i use oscommerce and i use paypal hosted
everything is working fine except if the user chooses PAY WITH PAYPAL after payment the user is not autp redirected back to my site checkout page. even when they press return to merchant it takes them to login page

now actually thats not event he main issue the main issue is that the order email doesnt get sent out to the merchant so they have to login to the db to see it.

as i say this works perfectly with card option
the problem with pay with paypal is that it goes to paypal.com to complete the payment so the last step to send the email is getting lost in session perhaps.

PAY WITH CARD - ALL GOOD
PAY WITH PAYPAL - ALL GOOD except email doesnt get sent out at the end after payment taken. the order is in the db anyway but if the merchant doesnt get the email then im in trouble as i am the service provider to the merchant i send all orders to them by email i dont give them db admin access.

im hoping its a simple fix
the auto return or return to merchant should be the magic thing which completes the last step to send the email

just now i have

Pay by card: payment taken - order in db - EMAIL SENT
Pay by paypal: order in db - payment taken - NO EMAIL SENT

help.