Excel expert needed - formula required for multiple criteria

Sample sheet available. I've highlighted the columns where the data is located. I have written down the criteria in plain English. Want a quick turn around here. What I definitely don't want is for you to come back to me hours later with a workaround. I don't want pivot tables or anything like that, no vbas, I just want the formula please.

Get in touch if you are an Excel expert. Please do not waste both of our time if you are not.

Many thanks