($15) Urgent Editing/Proofreading/Rewriting Project (Starts Immediately)

(If your rate is higher than our budget, you're still welcome to apply and state your proposed rate)
Hello, we have a 2000-word article that's poorly written, to say the least. We need this article ready in the next few hours and are short-handed when it comes to capable writers.

Here are some things that are wrong with the article.
1) It's heavily plagiarized
2) It's filled with weird phrases and grammatical mistakes
3) It shows no character through anecdotes or personal experience
4) It's not organized and has no flow to it

The writer should:
1) Be able to deliver this article **6 hours** after being awarded the project (Please start your cover letter with "I can deliver this in under 6 hours" for us to consider you for this project)
2) Can fix all plagiarism issues
3) Can fix the spun-off phrases (idioms that make no sense, cringy phrases...etc)
4) Shows character in his writing
5) Is willing to receive constant work from us in the future

Given the urgency of this project, we'll give the writer who completes it special recognition. If you can put your heart and soul into making this article sound fun, informative, and unique in this small timeframe, we'll make sure you're rewarded with a great bonus and a future stream of work from us.

Please don't apply to this unless you've read and understood everything about it. You can also check the article attached below, to see if this is something you can work with.
Looking forward to your bids.