Need Beta reader and broad advice for inexperienced writer
Budget: $25 – $50 USD
MUST BE ENGLISH SPEAKING NATIVE
I have started 13 books and finished part 1 of a book titled, "The Bum". I usually get to about 100 pages and then stop because it takes organization from there. When Covid hit, I suddenly had a window of free time, and I decided to finish one of these books. I looked at the writing at the 100 page mark and decided that the plot wasn't thick enough. The story is about a young man who finds himself homeless and addicted to drugs. He has faith in God and prays, eventually experiencing a miracle through a life changing circumstance. The intention was to help people recognize the plight of the homeless in hopes that the audience would take measures to help this population. But as I did my research, I found that it's much more complicated than this. I also felt like my story wasn't very exciting. So I created a timeline, made an excel sheet to keep up with the characters, created a map to see at a glance what was going on in each chapter, put some Netflix style action in to thicken the plot and now it has some very thrilling moments. Now the main character, Stefano Sprecato, is from Italy and a world class model. His family has a dark history with the mafia that eventually catches up with him. His drug use on top of this makes him flee into hiding and he ends up on the streets.
The story is uneven, it's amateur and it's long. I think I've written 800 pages so far. I've broken it down to 390 pages of part 1, and I feel like part 1 could be 250 pages. I feel like there are glimmers of good writing. I've edited the entire 390 pages about 4 times. Now, I am seeking an objective view from an experienced editor.
I need someone to beta read it and give me overall guidance. I was hoping that taking the page count down from 390 to about 250 would allow the story's best parts to shine, and the worst parts would be left on the cutting floor. The beginning few pages seem to be a strange introduction to the story. I can't quite put my finger on why it isn't working, but it doesn't. It ends in a bang, and the ending really shows the potential of the story. There are scenes along the way that if done right, seem like they would be great scenes. I think having a personal mentor to guide me through would help me immensely. Once I get a feel for what's wrong and what's right, it will make me a much better writer.
This is a fictional book with some of my life experiences woven in. I have been a serious drug addict in my 20's, though I haven't been homeless. The target audience is Netflix. The genre is along the lines of Breaking Bad or the Queen's Gambit. The subject matter is gritty at times. The fashion industry is so superficial. If you aren't into this type of story, then it's probably not a good fit for you. And I apologize for wasting your time already. But if the purpose sounds worthy, I am open to changing the story to attain it.
Thank you for your consideration. I am attaching the manuscript so that you can glance it over and see if you are interested.
I have started 13 books and finished part 1 of a book titled, "The Bum". I usually get to about 100 pages and then stop because it takes organization from there. When Covid hit, I suddenly had a window of free time, and I decided to finish one of these books. I looked at the writing at the 100 page mark and decided that the plot wasn't thick enough. The story is about a young man who finds himself homeless and addicted to drugs. He has faith in God and prays, eventually experiencing a miracle through a life changing circumstance. The intention was to help people recognize the plight of the homeless in hopes that the audience would take measures to help this population. But as I did my research, I found that it's much more complicated than this. I also felt like my story wasn't very exciting. So I created a timeline, made an excel sheet to keep up with the characters, created a map to see at a glance what was going on in each chapter, put some Netflix style action in to thicken the plot and now it has some very thrilling moments. Now the main character, Stefano Sprecato, is from Italy and a world class model. His family has a dark history with the mafia that eventually catches up with him. His drug use on top of this makes him flee into hiding and he ends up on the streets.
The story is uneven, it's amateur and it's long. I think I've written 800 pages so far. I've broken it down to 390 pages of part 1, and I feel like part 1 could be 250 pages. I feel like there are glimmers of good writing. I've edited the entire 390 pages about 4 times. Now, I am seeking an objective view from an experienced editor.
I need someone to beta read it and give me overall guidance. I was hoping that taking the page count down from 390 to about 250 would allow the story's best parts to shine, and the worst parts would be left on the cutting floor. The beginning few pages seem to be a strange introduction to the story. I can't quite put my finger on why it isn't working, but it doesn't. It ends in a bang, and the ending really shows the potential of the story. There are scenes along the way that if done right, seem like they would be great scenes. I think having a personal mentor to guide me through would help me immensely. Once I get a feel for what's wrong and what's right, it will make me a much better writer.
This is a fictional book with some of my life experiences woven in. I have been a serious drug addict in my 20's, though I haven't been homeless. The target audience is Netflix. The genre is along the lines of Breaking Bad or the Queen's Gambit. The subject matter is gritty at times. The fashion industry is so superficial. If you aren't into this type of story, then it's probably not a good fit for you. And I apologize for wasting your time already. But if the purpose sounds worthy, I am open to changing the story to attain it.
Thank you for your consideration. I am attaching the manuscript so that you can glance it over and see if you are interested.