party remarks

I am looking for someone to write remarks for a corporate event. The tone I am going for should be humorous, so the writer will need to have a knack for creating funny, yet professional comments. I already have some ideas of specific topics or anecdotes that I would like included in the remarks, so the writer should be familiar with incorporating those. Overall, this project should take approximately 1-2 hours to complete.

I have been leading a Corporate IT project for the last 6 years and we have finally finished. The party is the end-of-project celebration. I'm looking for ~5-8 minutes of remarks. I can share specific anecdotes to be incorporated.