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Handshake Without Brains: Trump & Putin in Alaska

There they were, like two aging rock stars who’d forgotten their biggest hit dropped out of the charts decades ago: Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, together in Alaska. Trump had rolled out his red carpet, Putin brought along his best poker face, and the world waited anxiously to see if a miracle would happen. Spoiler: it didn’t.

What we got was a handshake. A firm one, with Trump flashing that signature grin — the kind he wears when he thinks he just scored a free Big Mac. And Putin? He looked like he’d go strangle a polar bear afterward to relax. Beyond that? No agreement, no ceasefire, no world peace. Just a couple of nice photos for the history books — and for Trump’s next campaign flyer.

Trump called the meeting “very productive.” This from the same man who once described Trump University as “very successful.” Translation: “productive” means they spent an hour stroking each other’s egos and then grabbed some coffee. Putin muttered something about “understanding,” which in Russian basically means: I’ll keep bombing Ukraine until someone stops me. And that “someone” clearly won’t be Trump, who didn’t even bother inviting Zelensky. “There’s no deal until there’s a deal,” Trump added. Thanks, Einstein.

So what have we learned? That geopolitics is sometimes nothing more than a photo op for two men who love seeing themselves shine. The war goes on, the bombs are still falling, and the only real winner was… the Alaskan red-carpet manufacturer.