Real estate side hustle online education course commercial

we want a video in this style: https://fast.wistia.net/embed/iframe/x1yo7bcxw6. the attached file is a script we came up with but it's not great, we're hoping you could also help us make the script better. we're flexible on the length of the video. Here's our site for the purchase of the product: https://www.fastrackrealestate.com/products/side-hustle